


We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow

by blackkat



Series: Tumblr Drabbles [72]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Meetings, Friendship, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-15
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2019-02-02 21:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat
Summary: “I don’t want to get a cramp!” Obito squawks, batting sand at Rin in offense. “If I get a cramp I’lldrownand drowning isnot sexy!”“Of course it’s not sexy,” Kakashi says cheerfully. “The sexy part is when your lifeguard hunk drags you out of the water and gives you mouth-to-mouth. Maybe CPR, if you want him to get his hands all over you.”Clearly,clearly, Obito needs better friends.





	We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow

**Author's Note:**

> For a prompt on my Tumblr: lifeguard au! either they're coworkers for the summer at the local pool or one is the lifeguard and the other is "drowning". frequently.

Obito has the worst friends in the _world_.

“No, no, it’s easy,” Kakashi says in that particular breezy bullshit tone he apparently thinks makes him sound earnest. Which is ironic, because he actually sounds like a dick. Because he _is_ a dick. “You’re trying to get his attention? All you have to do is drown.”

Obito cannot even _begin_ to imagine the mortification that would entail, especially if Kakashi is part of it. “Fuck off,” he says grumpily, kicking his so-called friend in the thigh as hard as he can manage without moving. He’s finally managed to steal the patch of shade, and if he moves Rin is going to steal it back. It’s safe enough for him to turn his head, though, and he casts a mostly-covert look at the lifeguard’s chair.

Even looking at him upside down the man is gorgeous. It should probably be against some sort of natural law to have that many muscles.

Rin, from where she’s supposedly working on her tan but actually mostly pouting about Obito stealing the shade, rolls over the rest her chin on her crossed arms and hums in a way that means nothing good for Obito's dignity. “Maybe you should eat a lot before you go swimming,” she suggests cheerfully. “That way you’ll get a cramp.”

“I don’t want to get a cramp!” Obito squawks, batting sand at her in offense. “If I get a cramp I’ll _drown_ and drowning is _not sexy_!”

“Of course it’s not sexy,” Kakashi says cheerfully. “The sexy part is when your lifeguard hunk drags you out of the water and gives you mouth-to-mouth. Maybe CPR, if you want him to get his hands all over you.”

“Yeah, because having my ribs broken and air forced into my lungs sounds like a _great_ first date,” Obito snaps, and wraps his arms over his face with a groan. “I should burn all your romance novels. Why am I even _friends_ with you two.”

“Because you _love us_.” Rin makes obnoxious kissy noises, then sits up, brushing sand off of her stomach. She tips her floppy sunhat back, checking up and down the beach, and then sighs dramatically and flops back down. “Of course you two gay jerks would pick the one beach in Konoha that’s _all guys_ ,” she complains. “Where are the women?”

“I'm pan,” Kakashi reminds her mildly, though he takes a moment to lift his eyes from his book and check out the ass of a jogger in very brief green shorts as the man bounces past them. “But really, I don’t know what you're complaining about. The view here is _amazing_.”

Obito, watching the lifeguard stand up to stretch only to reveal an absolutely ripped abdomen and the jut of sharp hipbones, makes a wistful, hungry sound and nods fervently.

Rin's sigh is full of contained disgust. “Next time I pick the beach, and boobs are going to be involved.”

“Fine by me,” Kakashi says cheerfully, and jabs a toe into Obito's ribs. “Why are you lying on your stomach? Your abs are your only redeeming feature. Roll over so he can get an eyeful if he looks this way.”

“Fuck you,” Obito tells him, and just to be contrary stays where he is. His abs are hard-earned, but they also come along with all the scars. Like _fuck_ he’s going to show those off if he doesn’t absolutely have to.

Kakashi eyes him like he knows what Obito is thinking, and hums in quiet dissatisfaction. Then, decisively, he snaps his book shut at sets it aside, and says, “Oh, would you look at that. The volleyball net is free.”

Obito squints at him suspiciously. “We have one eye each,” he says. “Our depth perception is _shit_. You really want to play _volleyball_?”

“Last week I hit you in the head with a pencil from across the living room,” Kakashi tells him. “Don’t try to use the eye as an excuse for your lack of aim.”

“If I remember correctly,” Obito retorts, “and I _do_ , I pegged you in your stupid skull with one of those trashy novels you leave everywhere. Screw you, my aim is _fine_!”

“How about you prove it?” Rin suggests, bouncing to her feet and grabbing Obito's arm, then Kakashi’s. “Come on, before someone else gets there!” She gives them a sweetly innocent smile and says, “Obito, since you were on the volleyball team in high school, it’s only fair if Kakashi and I are on one team, right?”

Obito groans pointedly, even as he allows her to drag him to his feet. “How the fuck is two against one _fair_ , you witch? And isn’t the tied coming in? The net’s going to be right in the water soon.”

“You're so _negative_ ,” Rin laments. As soon as she has him on his feet she gives him a hard shove in the back, practically jamming her elbow into his spine. “March, and be _happy_. We’re at the _beach_ , Obito.”

It takes effort, but Obito refrains from pointing out that he didn’t even want to come in the first place, but Rin blackmailed him into doing so because she’s under the impression that he _doesn’t get out enough_.

As he’s dragged past the lifeguard’s chair, Obito can't help one more look, because _god_. If he could see more people who looked like that guy, he’d sure as hell spend more time in public.

Of course, just as he looks up, admiring thickly muscled thighs and well-shaped feet in worn flip-flops, the lifeguard looks down, and of fucking _course_ he catches Obito's eye because Obito is _staring like a creeper_. And, because the lifeguard is a kind man who’s clearly used to people ogling him like deranged stalkers, he offers Obito a friendly smile.

Obito feels himself turning red to the tips of his ears, and ducks his head with a sound that is very definitely not a mortified whimper.

At his side, Kakashi makes a sound of despair, but locks their elbows together and hauls him forward without stopping, leaving Rin to trot to keep up. “You're so _lame_ ,” Kakashi says, and Obito has to splutter even through his embarrassment because of the sheer _hypocrisy_ of that statement.

“You—you are so much lamer than me that I don’t even know how you can _say_ that!” Obito protests, even as Rin trots over to rent a volleyball from the bored-looking man at the booth. He tries to kick Kakashi in the ankle, but Kakashi sidesteps it, turns sharply enough to pull Obito off balance, and _almost_ manages to evade the foot Obito hooks around his ankle as he goes down. Obito is just a bit too quick for him, though, and drags Kakashi down with him.

Sadly, Kakashi is all lean, wiry muscle, and he gets his legs between them as they wrestle, twists sharply, and heaves, and Obito yelps as he goes rolling down the beach, losing his grip on Kakashi’s sunscreen-slicked skin. Obito splutters through a face-full of sand, staggers halfway upright as he tries to get his feet under him, and feels someone below waist-level slam into him and then a child’s shriek. Too late, though—he’s off balance and staggering, and one step back—

His foot hits rock, then empty air, and he has just enough time to curse viciously at every deity bored enough to listen to his two horrible ex-friends before he’s tumbling off the boulders that edge the deeper part of the water. He hits spine-first, hard enough to knock the air out of his lungs, and then cool water is closing over his head. Obito inhales a mouthful of water and feels his lungs burn with the overwhelming urge to cough. It takes a second to orient himself, to try and find the surface—

An arm loops around his chest, dragging him up, and before Obito can do more than gasp he’s breaking the surface, the man who’s holding him hauling him back onto the rocks in a surge of powerful muscle. Obito's too busy coughing to be able to pay attention, sadly, though he does spare a moment to appreciate the big warm hand that splays over his spine, keeping him from jerking too hard.

“Easy, easy,” a deep voice says. “You didn’t hit your head on your way down, did you? The rocks are nasty right here.”

Obito shakes his head, chokes up what feels like half a gallon of seawater, and finally manages to lift his head.

It’s the stupidly attractive lifeguard. At this point Obito isn’t even surprised. He’d be even less surprised if Kakashi and Rin orchestrated that whole fucking thing.

Seeing as they're too far away for him to give them the evil eye, he ducks his head, hoping his ears aren’t turning red, and rasps, “Thanks for the save.”

The big man chuckles, and if he hasn’t realized yet that he’s lightly rubbing up and down Obito's back in a mindlessly comforting gesture, well. Obito certainly isn’t going to be the one to tell him. “Not a problem,” he says easily. “I was just getting off shift, so I was right here. Looked like Murphy’s Law had it out for you.”

“Or meddling friends,” Obito mutters, and raises his head just enough to glare at the pair of assholes by the volleyball net. Being Kakashi and Rin, they don’t even bother with chagrin, just wave cheerfully.

Obito is going to _murder them_.

“You're sure you're okay?” the lifeguard asks again, watching him closely. He’s frowning a little, and it puts a cute little wrinkle in his brow, and Obito is fucking _doomed_ , okay. _Doomed._

“I'm fine,” Obito tells him, and cautiously sits up straighter, rubbing at the faint ache in his chest. The lifeguard’s hand doesn’t slip off his back, which is a little surprising, and when Obito looks up at him he’s still watching Obito with that furrow between his brows, dark eyes concerned. He’s so fucking _handsome_ , and it’s not fair because Obito just tripped over his own feet and almost drowned in front of him, and there's no going back from that first impression.

The reassurance doesn’t so much to ease the man’s frown, though, and he wavers for a moment, then says, “Want to come sit up by the boardwalk with me? I usually get some food up there after my shift, and getting away from the water for a bit might help you get your balance back.”

Obito opens his mouth to tell him he’s here with his friends and that he can't leave them, then remembers that they're both _filthy traitors_ and he’s never going to give either of them so much as the time of day ever again. Besides, the lifeguard is way too fucking cute, and he’s handing Obito an excuse to talk to him on a silver platter. Obito would have to be the idiot Kakashi always calls him to say no.

“Sure,” he says instead, and maybe leans a little more heavily on the man than he absolutely needs to as the lifeguard rises and pulls him to his feet. “I'm, uh. I'm Obito. Thanks again for saving me.”

“Kisame,” he returns, with a faintly bashful smile, and it takes him about three seconds too long to let go of Obito's fingers. “Glad I could help.”

 _You can help yourself right into my pants if you want_ , the little voice in Obito's head that sounds like Rin says, and Obito stomps it down and firmly squashes the urge to actually say it.

Instead, he clears his throat, trying not to sound like he gargled saltwater, and offers Kisame his best attempt at a charming smile. “Can I buy your food? As a thank you! Not—not as a date. Uh. Unless you want it to be a date? Because that would be fine. Great. Oh god, feel free to shoot me down any fucking time now.” Mortified, he presses his hands over his face.

There's a long, startled pause, and then a faint chuckle. Obito risks a peek through his fingers to find Kisame rubbing the back of his neck, a flush washing color into his cheeks. He doesn’t quite manage to meet Obito's eye, but he’s smiling when he says, “If we’re going to make it a date, we should get ice cream, too. my treat.”

The rush of air that leaves Obito's lungs is pure relief, and he almost wants to collapse right back into the sand. “I—yes. Definitely. Ice cream sounds—uh, really good.”

Kisame has a gorgeous smile. It crinkles his eyes, shows off white teeth and the dimples in his cheeks. _Three_ dimples, which is entirely unfair. How is Obito supposed to fucking _deal_ with three dimples on one face?

“Yeah,” he agrees, grinning. “It does.”


End file.
